I’m blessed to know you, Dahveed!! Ukulele battle challenge extended for the next time we meet.


Ukuleles are like your children. The first one, you obsess and protect. By the fourth one, you let them eat high-fructose corn syrup and run with power tools.” - Someone on the internet.

Rose. Beautiful spirit. She taught me chords on Anne’s ukulele, that’s one of the greatest things a woman cold teach a man. How else would man know, how to sing corny songs about peanut butter or little birds without having to pay hundreds of dollars for a guitar.

Rose. She definitely helped a lot in making my trip to Victoria, BC beautiful. In my life, I have never met a Rose that was a mediocre person. Not to say that anybody is mediocre, I’m just saying that if there are mediocre people in the world — their names are not Rose. 

Speaking on flowers, I’ve met some sucky people with flower names. Such a Aunt Petunia from Harry Potter. I know I never met her but all those hours I spent with the book sometimes blend into reality. Jasmine… wait, is Jasmine a flower? I’ve had 3 childhood crushes on Jasmines and one of them was an asshole, but that kinda turned me on tho. 

Anyway, I still haven’t bought my own ukulele yet but whenever I do, the first chords that I play will be the ones that Rose taught me. So, I’m pretty sure that I will cherish my first ukulele like my first child. Hopefully, it will be the only child because I don’t know if I can keep track of more than one kid. 

Thanks Rose. 

See you whenever I end up seeing you. 

Photos by Brian Van Wyck

Out of context

Sometimes phrases are funny when you take them out of context…

"Researchers found, for instance, that women preferred the smell of symmetrical men, but only during the fertile phase of the menstrual cycle." -Jonah Lehrer, New Yorker

"A ham-shaped encampment of poor cottages." -James Joyce, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

"The number of sexual partners for rock stars can be hundreds of times what a normal male has, and for the top rock stars, such as Mick Jagger, physical appearance doesn’t seem to be an issue." -David Levitin, This Is Your Brain on Music

"Broccoli has long been an othered vegetable in America." -L.V. Anderson, Slate

"Even a 300 pound cotton ball can hurt you." -in reference to aggressive llamas

"He liked sometimes to be ill enough to take to his bed." -Women in Love, D. H. Lawrence

Bloody Underrated - Rose’s reviews